FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
When I was younger I took my grandparents for granted. My mother’s mother was the only grandparent that could cross the border legally...for a while. The last time they let her come through the border, she experienced terrible sexual harrassment from immigration officers.
My paternal grandmother passed away at some point after we came to the US. I can’t remember ever calling her. I have this memory saved from the age of 6: her house and a hummingbird that came to visit the flowers in her city balcony. And my grandfathers? Who knows where those bastards were.
I recently took ayahuasca in one of our travel adventures, and the spirit reminded me of this.
It reminded me of the pain my parents suffered when they were not able to say goodbye to their parents because they were “illegal aliens.” They could not go back home and say their last goodbye. I felt that pain deeply. And maybe that’s the reason why I try so hard to be a great daughter. I want to heal the pain they felt.
The song you hear is a song my maternal grandmother used to sing. I sing it with my mother to honor her mother. This is a song I remember from childhood. I didn’t realize until now that the song is about a lover waiting patiently and loyally for her lover.
lyrics
Estaba la pájara pinta sentada en verde limón
Con el pico meneaba la rama
Y con la cola meneaba la flor
Ay si ay no
¿Cuándo vendrá mi amor?
Ay si ay no
¿Cuándo vendrá mi amor?
Me arrodillo a los pies de mi amante
Me levanto fiel y constante
Dame una mano
Dame la otra
Dame un besito de tu linda boca
Dame una mano
Dame la otra
Dame un besito de tu linda boca
credits
from Papaya,
released September 21, 2023
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