"A Mother's Touch"
Death Is A Business
Not Infinite (2019)

LYRICS:
Do you remember the last words we shared
When you told me not to be worried or scared?
What did I miss and what did you hide
What did you lock in a box inside?
And could I have helped and could you be stopped
From ending your life right in the flash of a gun!

You stole yourself away from me
Refused me the chance to rescue you
Nineteen years worth of memories
You ruined, destroyed, you tore to shreds
Then left sprawled out on the bathroom tile
The door frame marked with red stains and black tape
I pray that they’d let me relive that minute
I’d break down the door, knock your hand aside

Need a second of hesitation
Need a second thought for this decision
How can I find peace when you
Left me broken pieces
Now but for a dusty picture I see your face in half-formed dreams
Never speak your name, so let this music be the air you breathe

Take me back to a time
To the bedroom walls plastered in white
Where we drew monkeys and aliens and spaceships
Then we invented some card games on old paper scraps

Then one day we found ourselves miles apart
Our friends occupied what once were our late nights
Where we once shared a room you just kept the door locked
And all I wish now is that I would have knocked

Then Christmas came, you laughed, you joked
But you betrayed no emotion
Played your part with resolve
So determined in waging this
Silent, secret war with yourself

Why did you carry on this fight all alone?
Did you really think we had given up on you?
And now it’s too late for an offer of help
The help for which you never bothered to ask

You stupid—worthless—vile—piece of shit—you never gave a fuck

How could you have looked me in the
Eye and not have told me it would
Be the last time I would ever
See you before you were lowered into the ground

Blur your mind
Obscure the world
And feed you the drugs
To cleanse the pain
You can’t hide it
Now you’re coming down
Crashing down and down

We crossed paths in a dream
I saw you walk towards me
And then I reached right out to grab you
But you vanished through the door

I’m chasing glimpses of you
I’ve forgotten where you’ve been
But before long
I realize you’re dead

Impossible images of you
Burned into my eyes
You’re a walking ghost
You’re an apparition
I couldn’t shake if I tried
I know this vision can’t be real
But I wish to God that it were
I pray you will return in dream
And I will not cry anymore

But somewhere that park still rings with your voice
Somewhere your footsteps still part the dust
Somewhere your cigarette still burns away
And somewhere your motorcycle tears through the night

Blur my mind
Obscure my world
And feed me the drugs
To cleanse my pain
I can’t hide it
Now I’m coming down
Crashing down and down

Didn’t meet our expectations
Couldn’t withstand all our pressures
Called yourself a disappointment
But maybe it was us who were a disappointment to you

So now you’ve made your escape from this world
In search of some silence away from this noise
There’s no more a moment for you to waste
In pursuit of happiness you never knew
And which one of us was the one to blame?
Or did the culprit die when you blasted a hole in your skull!

Which is the greater selfishness
Your wish to die or my wish that you’d live
Were you wrong to think you were cursed from the start?
Am I wrong to ask why you wasted this gift?
And whose decision is this to make?
Who can say this was all a mistake?
Pointless to ask now so all that we’re left
Is a hope this melody bring you to life!

I look through the window where the sun used to shine
On a family now a lifetime gone who sat in this room
The walls were stripped bare there was nothing left behind
And you are the one I won’t see very soon